6 Ways to Help Kids Manage School-Related Stress

For kids of all ages, the beginning of the school year is bound to bring on new types of stress — good and bad. This is especially true this year, as most students return to in-person learning after over a year of remote or hybrid classrooms due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Even during an otherwise normal year, there are all sorts of things to cause stress as students go back to school. Adjusting to being away from family all day, making new friends, getting used to different teachers, learning challenging subjects and taking big tests are just some of the things that may stress out your kid.

As a parent, you will likely hear or see when something has gone wrong at school and want to help your child manage their stress. Whatever it is about school that’s stressing your kid out, here are six strategies to keep in mind when helping them cope: 

1.     Pay attention to indicators of stress. When stress becomes overwhelming, it can manifest in a variety of ways. Some children may experience mood swings or begin acting out, while others withdraw and seek alone time. There may be physical symptoms like restless sleep, bedwetting, stomachaches and headaches. You know your child best, so watch for sudden changes in mood, behavior, sleep or physical health to monitor their stress levels.

2.     Manage the root causes of stress. It’s important to remember that children don’t have the same experience with stress as you, so modeling good time-management skills and helping your child to anticipate a stressful situation can be beneficial before a stress response occurs. For example, if your child is worried about an important test, help them plan to find time in the days and weeks leading up to it to study the material. 

3.     But give them space to test things out. Although you’re there to help, experiencing and managing stress are essential parts of growing up and your kids will be better off having learned to handle it on their own. The American Psychological Association advises parents to let “children try to solve their low-stakes problems on their own, and they’ll gain confidence that they can deal with stressors and setbacks.”

4.     Don’t neglect the basics. While it won’t eliminate stress, maintaining healthy habits around nutrition, exercise and sleep can make stress a lot easier to handle when it emerges and provide coping mechanisms. Make time regularly for outdoor play to burn off steam and provide a break from schoolwork. At night, limit screen time so your child can get a full night’s sleep. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 9 to 12 hours for kids age 6 to 12.

5.     Be a good listener. Give your child space to share their frustrations and concerns on their own terms—not in comparison to adult problems. Once your child has shared with you, this is a good time to tell them what you’ve heard from your perspective. This is also an opportunity to lightly challenge any negative self-talk by talking through why they’re saying that and framing their situation in a more positive way.

6.     Be willing to ask for help. Depending on why your child is stressed, don’t be afraid to reach out to the other adults invested in their well-being. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests trying to resolve classroom or curriculum issues in a conversation with your child’s teacher. Other situations may improve by talking to the school’s counselor or your family pediatrician for further advice or referrals.